Failed Expectations

 So much for releasing the expectations!  I’m faced once again with the dilemma of knowing what I need to do in my head, but failing miserably with actually doing it.

After a few good days of releasing expectations, I’m sitting here wanting to blow.  I walked into a messy house with three children who didn’t seem to remember how they were supposed to act.  Chris didn’t do the one thing I begged him to remember to do – carry the laundry basket from one room to the other.  Thomas couldn’t sit properly at dinner and was sent to his room after I was tired of correcting him.  Zoe wouldn’t play with anything, but was trying to get into all kinds of other things.  She too went to her room.  And after a Joe and Thomas fight, they found themselves in their room again.  I seriously wish I could have put myself in my room for some “thinking time” for the night! 

It seemed like I was getting attacked from all sides. To top it all off, my back hurts. My legs ache.  I’m tired.  And now I sit here frustrated.  Because even after a few good days of thinking I was releasing expectations, today I didn’t.  Today I’m mad because not a single person in our home met a single expectation I set -  not even me. 

***

Lord, how can the day go from good to so bad?  Oh my!  I’m so grateful for my family, but raising children is so hard.  Zoe won’t sleep through the night.  In fact, we found her sleeping on the floor by the gate across her doorway this morning.  I was so tired I didn’t even have the energy to tell her to get back in her bed last night.  Thomas seems to have lost all sense of self control.  Joe seems tired and emotional and so do I.  Chris is stressed and exhausted from working so many hours.  We are a mess!  A big family mess!

 So I pause, take a deep breath, and I thank you for Jesus.  He cleans up us messy people and makes us white as snow.  He renews our strength each day.  He blesses us beyond measure.  He teaches us how to forgive…  how to love…  how to encourage.  Thank you that our family gets so much practice!  Thank you that sleep is just a few minutes away.

Forgive me for my selfish outbursts today - for those moments when I wanted to throw the temper tantrum.  Forgive me for all the times I made life all about me rather than You.  Teach me how to work through the expectations I’m setting for myself and others.  I know some are okay, but most of them are not.  Please teach me the difference.  I’m ready and listening.

***

You faced a few hours of chaotic battle tonight.  You are in physical pain.  You are tired.  And,  you felt like no one was listening to you.  Yet you are here with Me.  And I am listening.  I always listen.  I see your frustrations and hear your cries.  Tonight you did not look to me when you were unsure of how to discipline the children.  You did not ask Me for help with your pain.  Your goal was to make it to bedtime.  You even glanced over the Bible study time when you could not immediately find the scripture you were seeking.

Do you remember how I reminded you the other night how you need to look to Me in the storms?  Tonight was a testing.  You are listening now, so I know you will be prepared for the next one.  Always remember, I calm the storms.  I calm you.  Look to Me.  Know Me.  Let Me be the one you go to for every single thing every single day.  Sleep well tonight for tomorrow will be here soon enough.  I love you.  Look in my eyes, Daughter, and know I love you.

Your Guide through the Storms

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How was your week with releasing expectations?  I was doing so well and then BOOM!  It all seemed to explode.  As I think about it now, I’m not sure that I had truly released expectations or if I was simply managing them.  Think about that for just a minute.  What is the difference between releasing expectations and managing them?

To release means, “to set free from restraint, confinement, or servitude; to relieve from something that confines, burdens, or oppresses” (according to Webster’s Dictionary).

To manage means, “to handle or direct with a degree of skill as to make compliant; to work upon or try to alter for a purpose” (according to Webster’s Dictionary).

Read those definitions again with me.  Now think about your week.  Were you totally set free from expectations?  Was the burden gone?  Did the confinement the expectations bring disappear?  OR did you just try to handle the expectations differently?  Did you set them and then try to direct them a different way or alter them for a purpose?

Friends, this is hard stuff.  I admit it!  I’ve been trying to manage expectations rather than release them!  How about you?  How are you doing now? 

What can we do differently this week to release rather than manage? 

1. Pray at the start of each day and ask God to make me aware of expectations I am setting.
2. Rather than “stuff” or “deny” the expectations I battle, I will acknowledge each one and give it to God.
3. I will confess any sin because of uncontrolled and unfair expectations.  I’ll confess to Jesus and to the one I sinned against.

Here is to a new day AND another step toward sweet release!

***

For further study:

Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things;
                                  do not dwell on the past.
                              See, I am doing a new thing!
                                   Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
                              I am making a way in the wilderness
                                   and streams in the wasteland.”

2 Corinthians 3:16-18, “But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.  Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”