Messy Expectations

 Expectations.  I set them for myself.  I set them for others.  I live by them.  Without even realizing it, I have based my life around my expectations.  And I’m imprisoned by them. 

I sin because of expectations.  If I’m tired and want to relax, then I expect my three young children to behave so I can.  If I scrub my floors and wash my windows, I expect my husband to notice and sing my praises.  I expect myself to work hard and do my best and if I fail, then I assume I’m just not good enough.  I expect my hair to lye right, and if it doesn’t I get sooooo frustrated!  I expect my chiropractor to fix my aching back.  I expect my doctor to figure out what is wrong with me.   And I expect Zoe to sit still with me right now as I type even though she is only two.

Setting these expectations leads to my frustration, irritation and sin.  If things don’t go the way I want them to,  if people don’t behave the way I have envisioned, if circumstances don’t play out like I think they should, then I get angry, frustrated, and bitter.  I throw little, or sometimes big, temper tantrums in my head or in front of my family. 

And what does it profit me?  Absolutely nothing.  It robs me of peace.  It steals my joy.  It harms those I love. 

And so I today I thank God for moving me to the next phase of this journey.  I’m releasing the expectations.  I’m being freed from them by my Father.

***

Oh God thank you!  Thank you for revealing a root of my sin this early morning.  Thank you for showing me how the expectations I set knowingly and unknowingly imprison me.  How they are such a huge part of my cycle of sin.  My  brokenness.  Teach me.  Show me. I don’t know how to fix me.  I confess that I can’t fix me.  So open my eyes to what they need to see.  Thank you for the hope I feel within.  You are good, Lord!  You are so good!

***

Good morning Child.  I can’t help but smile today at your excitement at the revelation revealed to you.  Today will be a day of awareness.  I want you to be aware of every expectation you are setting for yourself and for others.  Capture each one and give it to Me.  This is the first step in making them obedient to Christ.  Listen, watch, and look and you will see all I am going to give to you today.

The Revealer of Mysteries

***

Expectations.  We all have them.  What are some of the expectations you set in your life?  Really stop and think about each expectation you set for each of these areas:

Your child(ren)

Your spouse/boyfriend (or ex-spouse)

Your parent(s)

Your boss

Your co-worker(s)

Your friend

Your child(ren)’s teacher(s) and school

Your church

Your pet

Yourself

Now really stop and think about whether or not the expectations can even be met by imperfect people living messy lives. 

Don’t get me wrong, there should be standards and responsibilities we should all meet.  But too often we also set false and unfair expectations.  And, for me, it is because I’m trying to change or manipulate a person to be who I think they should be.  And it is selfish. 

Here are just of the few “cannots” I am proclaiming today:

1.  I cannot expect my husband and kids to fill the empty place inside that only God can fill.

2.  I cannot expect my husband to read my mind and do the things I have never asked him to do.

3.  I cannot expect everyone to think like me, act like me, and be like me (and what a boring world it would be if everyone was just like me!). 

Write out some of your “cannots” and share them with God.  The rest of this week be aware of the expectations you are setting and chat with God about them.  Let Him show you what is realistic and fruitful and what is harmful and meaningless.

For further study:

How can these verses help you stop harmful expectations from consuming your mind?

2 Corinthians 10:5b, “…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Colossians 3:1b-2, “…set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Hurting

Monday is here and I’m taking a detour this week from sharing my personal journey.  I thought it was odd that my time to write was continually delayed last week.  Today, I understand.  I believe there is a different message for each of us. 

Usually my typical Monday is much like yours.  It is the start to a new work week and school week.  It is usually busy with meetings, catching up on things and starting new things.  Only today, my Monday looks different.  Although it started out with my usual Monday routine, it took a turn in many of the lives of people I care about.   

-A military wife and mom is anxiously awaiting her husband’s return home while she nurses her sick children back to health.

-A woman dealing with her husband’s addictions and raising three children finds out she has two aneurysms.

-A woman driving all night to reach the bedside of her dying father is awaiting news on his condition.

-A mom is trying to comfort her young children as they awaken in the night from nightmares no child should have.

-A single mom still healing from her husband walking out the door on their family, learns she has breast cancer.

-A woman’s divorce after 20+ years of marriage is finalized on her birthday.

-A beloved wife, mother, and grandmother passes away.

-A family sits in the Emergency Room with no answers for their loved one’s condition.

-A mom has watched another door close as she tries to get the services her special needs child needs.

It is heartbreaking isn’t it?  My heart hurts so badly for each of these people that no words suffice.  I have had to stop, pause, and remember.  I’m pausing to remember who God is in the midst of each of these trials, struggles and challenges.  You see while each of these people have hurts in common, they also have hope. 

Often the word “hope” is used in the same context as “wish.”  I hope it rains today.  I hope dinner turns out well.  But the hope each of these friends of mine hold is not a wish.  It is the true definition of hope from Webster’s Dictionary which means, “to expect with confidence.”  Their hope is in Jesus Christ.  And while the pain, confusion, and hurt is real, they each look to Jesus. 

I realize even in the light of Jesus the hurt is real.  I felt pain and hurt so deeply in 2009 from a devastating loss that I wondered if I could stay in ministry.  But that is where Jesus steps in.  We give Him our hurt and He becomes our comforter if we are willing to receive. 

So, today I stop, pause, and remember in honor of each of my friends’ hurts.  I pause and remember who our Jesus is.  And I pray for Him to meet all of their needs according to His glorious riches (which, by the way, are perfect).

Here are a few Scriptures me and ladies from my Women’s Leadership Team remember as we pause and remember who my God is.  I pray they encourage you today as well.

Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God."

Hebrews 13:5, …God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Revelation 4:1-11, “After this I [John] looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this."

At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne.

Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.

   In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come." Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
 "You are worthy, our Lord and God,
   to receive glory and honor and power,
   for you created all things,
      and by your will they were created
      and have their being."

My Mess and God's Grace

Today I’m reminded of how it takes time for real change to take root.  I must recognize that I’m on a journey of change. 

When I have time to think about my actions and reactions, I am choosing well.  God’s Word is piercing my mind and heart.  But when in a “gut reaction” situation, I default to my sinful self. 

Tonight a sudden storm developed and quickly raged against our home.  I stopped the show the kids were watching to check the news to see if we were in danger.  I told the boys to be quiet so I could hear the meteorologist.  I heard Joe talking and assumed he didn’t want to be quiet.  He kept talking, so I told him to stop so I could hear the TV.  He talked again.  I raised my voice and snapped at him.  I heard his voice again.  I raised my voice louder and snapped fiercer.  I could hear, “listen to him” in my mind, but I didn’t obey.  I pressed forward straining to hear over the large hail pounding on our home.  He then whispered and I snapped with even greater ferociousness at his lack of obedience. 

I finally heard the weather.  I moved the kids to the bathroom, and I finally listened to my precious five year old son.  With a very timid voice he barely spoke, “Mommy, what time will the storm be over?”  This was what he had been asking all along; a simple question that could have received a simple answer.  But instead of pausing and listening to him for a moment in the midst of the storm, I broke his spirit with harsh words and tone.  I failed.  In those few seconds, I failed.

So now I sit here with tears in my eyes.  I apologized to my five year old boy without any excuses.  I sought his forgiveness.  And, his sweet, growly voice said, “I forgive you, Mommy.”  But all I want to do is sit here in my sorrow.  To wallow in how broken my heart is that I hurt my child with my tone and words.  To speak over and over again, “I don’t want to fail anymore.”

Yet in my despair, I can hear God’s Word offering me hope.  And I praise Him for reminding me of His grace.  His sweet, sweet grace given to me and to every person who invites Jesus to save her.  And I feel hope rising within.  And with a deep breath I remember, that is amazing grace.

***

I failed tonight Lord.  And the worst part is that I failed my children.  The precious, beautiful ones You have given me.  I guess I’m disappointed because I didn’t think I would react that way.  I expected more of myself.   I thought changes had been rooted deeper in me.  Please forgive me.  Please Father, turn me around. 

Plant Your Word deeper within me.  I see so much sin in my life.  I see so many areas that need to be pruned.  And, it is easy to get discouraged.  It is easy to believe the lies that freedom isn’t possible for me.  To believe there will always be a stronghold in my life.

 But Your Word says there is freedom.  So I will continue to seek it with all my heart and let You do the work in me.  Forgive me when I try to fix myself -  when I slip into the mentality that if I just try hard enough then You will love me more…  that if I do more good things then bad that You will bless me more…  that if I am good, then You will have plans for me.  Teach me to live under Your grace.  Your grace that means You give unmerited kindness.  Your grace that is free - there is nothing I can do to earn it.  Your grace that is a gift.  Teach me to relish in the gift from You.  To see You more clearly.  To surrender my whole heart to You 24/7.

***

You struggle with hearing Me tonight, Child.  Your mind is reeling in chaos and confusion.  You are distracted by the storm outside as well as the storm within your heart.  For it is the storms in your heart which bring the distractions you face. 

Remember the lyrics in a song from your childhood, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus.  Look full in His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”  Do you remember?  Do you remember how Jesus calmed the storm with one command?  Look in my eyes, Child.  Look to me.  I see the storm raging around you and My hand is there.  My hand of protection will not let you be swept away.  Look to me and I will sustain you.  I will guide you through it.  I will bring you to victory and freedom.

Do not give up.  Persevere.  Run the race I have marked out for you.  Training your children in the way they should go does not mean you must be a perfect parent.  For if you were perfect, how could they learn about forgiveness and grace?  Who would teach them how to live in this imperfect world?  Use your moments of sin to teach them about repentance, forgiveness, grace and mercy.  This teaches them  who I am.  And trust Me with the plans I have for them and their future.

The One Who Holds You

***

I don’t like to relive this day.  In fact, sharing it with you is even more difficult.  Why?  It isn’t fun to expose sinful messes.  And I have lots of messes. 

What I do love to share is how God loves me (and you) through the messes and redeems every one of them.  That is who He is  - Love and Redeemer.  Will you pause for a moment with me and let that wash over you?  God is Love.  God is Redeemer.  He loves us in our messes.  He’ll redeem every one of them.

Is there something in your life you don’t want to relive?  Is there some kind of ugly, sinful messiness you have yet to deal with?  If so, let me encourage you to stop and talk to God about it.  You don’t have to use fancy words, or speak in a certain way.  Just talk.  Tell Him what you are holding inside. 

If you have dealt with your ugly, sinful messiness and given it to Jesus, have you let it go?  Or are you holding on to it?  Remembering it continually?  And trying to figure out a way to be good enough for Jesus?  If so, let me encourage you to stop.  I totally understand where you are.  It is where I have lived much of my life.  But, it is not where He wants us to live.  He wants us to live under grace; under His sweet love and grace.  Let it go and every time it creeps back into your mind, speak the truth of the following Scriptures, and let them settle in your heart.

I AM LOVED

1 John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.”

1 John 4:10, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

Ephesians 2:8, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.”

I AM FORGIVEN

Psalm 103:12, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

I AM FREE

Romans 8:1-2, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” 

2 Corinthians 3:17, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

I AM REDEEMED

2 Timothy 2:11-14, “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.  It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”

Crickets and Fears in My Messy Life

I thought the cricket was gone.

After 5 long nights, I didn’t hear it at the window.  And the sweet sleep I experienced was just what I needed… until the nightmare came. 

I hate nightmares.  I hate waking up drenched in sweat with my heart beating wildly and my breath rapid.  “It was just a dream,” I told myself.  But even though I knew it was a dream, my thoughts kept drifting to what I would do if it was real life.  And, of course, then, I heard every creak and crack in our home.  My mind began wondering, “Is someone there?  Is someone going to harm us?  What would I do?” 

Although only a few minutes had passed since I had awakened from the nightmare, I knew I had to calm myself down.  I had to get control of my thoughts.  So I spoke, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…”  The powerful name of Jesus.  I prayed for protection.  I redirected my mind.  And my heart beat slowed.  My breaths steadied.  And, my focus turned only to Jesus.  For He is my Protector.  He is Strength and Might.  He is the One who conquers all evil.  He is my Rescuer and Deliverer.  Ahhhhhh… my sweet Jesus who loves and adores me.  My peace. 

It was then that I could settle snug in my bed again in the wee hours of the morning.  I craved sweet sleep.  I could get another hour in but, it wouldn’t come.  Why?  Because my friendly little cricket was still outside my window with his incessant chirping.  I still do not understand how any creature can make nonstop noise and not grow tired of hearing itself, but apparently I’m not to understand the ways of a cricket!

***

Good morning Lord!  It is early and it is good to be with You.  May I hear Your voice today as loudly as I have heard the cricket each night this past week.  May Your voice pierce my ears and direct my paths.  I’m feeling quite silly today.  Is this a blessing of taking a day of rest?  Maybe today I will laugh more…  dance more…  and play more.  Thank you for the nightmare which blessed me with Your peace.  Thank you for the morning cricket (even though I certainly don’t understand the purpose of him).

***

My Child,

I love giving you My peace and rest.  I love being your Provider.  I love being your Comfort.  And I love when you embrace My Power and you claim My Victory.  I have great plans for you today.  Look to me and I will direct your steps.  And though you may not understand each step just as you do not understand the cricket, you can rest in the truth of who I am and how much I love you.

With thoughts and ways higher than yours,

Your Father

I do wonder what you fear.  I wonder what is in your life that you do not understand (like my cricket).  Do they paralyze you at times? 

Maybe it is spiders or snakes.  Maybe it is clowns. 

Maybe it is the fear every time you say goodbye to your children that it will be the last because they could be in a horrible accident.  Or maybe it is that you will never have a child of your own. 

Maybe it is the fear your marriage will never get better.  Or that you will never find a mate. 

Maybe it is the fear your health will never improve.  Or that the treatment to help will be too difficult to endure.

Or maybe it is that you will never be good enough…  pretty enough…  smart enough.

Regardless of your fears or questions, you have them don’t you?  Stop and think about them for a moment.  And now put them in the light of Jesus. 

Jesus will calm every fear we have if we will call on him.  In Matthew 8:23-27, we read about a horrible storm at sea.  The disciples were terrified.  Jesus was sleeping through it.  But as soon as the disciples cried to him for help, He was up.  He literally calmed the crashing waves.  And the disciples were amazed.

What fears do you need to give to Him?

What is it in your life that you do not understand (like my chirping cricket) that you need to release into His care?  He can calm that one too.

Spend time today speaking the sweet name of Jesus and talking with Him and receive the peace He has to offer.

For further study:

Read Matthew 14:22-32 and think about what you learn about fear and not understanding.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”’

Day 5… July 29, 2012

I awoke throughout the night with the reference “Psalm 67” going through my mind.  As soon as I got up, I quickly turned to see what Word God had given me.   And I read…

 ¹ May God be gracious to us and bless us

and make his face shine on us— ^e

² so that your ways may be known on earth,

your salvation among all nations.

³ May the peoples praise you, God;

may all the peoples praise you.

⁴ May the nations be glad and sing for joy,

for you rule the peoples with equity

and guide the nations of the earth.

⁵ May the peoples praise you, God;

may all the peoples praise you.

⁶ The land yields its harvest;

God, our God, blesses us.

⁷ May God bless us still,

so that all the ends of the earth will fear him. (NIV)

I wasn’t sure why God had given me this Word, so I asked Him, and went about the morning.  Getting me and three children ready and headed to worship actually went smoothly!  It was a busy, but good morning at First Christian Church, Newburgh. 

We decided to eat out which is rare.  The kids were good.  And God protected Zoe when her chair flipped backward.  The day was going well. 

And then the news came that Chris had to go back to work (after having put in at least a 55 hour work week).  The irritation set in.   Everything within me was on edge the rest of the afternoon and evening.  The fatigue took over.  Bitter feelings were reigning toward Chris.  Thoughts raced through my mind, “After being up with Zoe the night before and having a busy day, you are left once again to manage everything on your own…  groceries, meal planning, cleaning up, dinner, and getting the kids ready for bed.” 

To be honest, I wanted to nurture those thoughts.  I wanted a break.  I wanted my husband home.  I wanted to just go to bed and pull the covers up over my head. 

I could feel the frustration rising inside of me as the kids plowed through the house laughing and playing.  I was trying to get the kitchen cleaned up.  Their voices were so loud.  They were being so wild.    I started to fuss at them just like I had before dinner.  Only this time no one was wrestling and accidentally hurting another.  This time there was laughter.  This time they were all smiling and having fun. 

As I stood at the kitchen sink watching them, I wondered, “When was the last time I laughed and had fun?”  I’m always so wrapped up in fulfilling my “responsibilities” that I don’t play with them enough.  I don’t laugh with them enough.  I don’t dance with them enough.  And, I just realized, I don’t thank my husband enough for being such a hard worker. 

***

Lord, I want my view of things to change.  I want to see the good and the beauty when I look in a room or at a situation rather than what is wrong.  I want to see the people rather than the projects and work surrounding them.  Can you change my view?  Will you please open my eyes to see things differently?  Even if it is just for today?  I am so blessed to have so much “work” to do.  For You have given me a home and a beautiful family to care for.  You have blessed us beyond measure.  Forgive me when I let lies take my mind hostage.  Forgive me when I dwell on what I want or think I deserve…  oh forgive me!  Forgive me every time I set a wrong expectation upon someone else because I’m not letting You fill me…  because I’m not letting You come and meet my innermost needs.  For I know You are more than enough.  And for today I will rest in You.

***

My Daughter,

I want you to dance.  I want you to play.  I want you to laugh.  Do you remember that even I rested on the seventh day?  I did so not because I needed the rest, but because I wanted to set an example for you.  I created you.  I wonderfully and fearfully made you.  And, you need rest.  You need to stop all work one day a week and direct all of your attention and energy to those you love.  I want you to stop and appreciate all I have given You.  If you will follow My example and rest, you will be blessed.  Will you “honor the Sabbath” for the next 4 weeks?  If you will let Me, I will show you what day to rest.   I will teach you.  And, I will bless you.

Why, you have asked, did I give you Psalm 67?  So your eyes would turn to praise.  So your view would be changed for today.  So you would see the blessings and offer praise.  For I knew you would struggle today.  I knew all about the frustrations you were going to face, and I prepared you.  Just as I prepare the path for you each day. 

Today was more challenging for you.  And you did well.  You are listening to My voice more and looking for My hand.  You are seeking me and finding me.  Do you see your view is already changing?  There is more I want to show you -  more I will show you.  Take  heart today for you did well.  I am proud of you.

The One Who Gives All Blessings

I wonder how much you rest?  How often you dance?  Play?  Laugh?  I know our lives are different  - our season of life, our circumstances, our responsibilities.  They are as different as each one of us is.  But we all need to rest one day a week to recharge.  We all need to laugh.  And, we need to praise God for all He has given us rather than grumble in our hearts and minds about what we wish was different.  For when the praise ceases, the joy disappears.  But, when the praise increases, the joy cannot be contained.

If you do not rest one day a week, I invite you to join me on a 4 week challenge.  Let’s take one day a week of rest.  You pick the day.  But you must rest.  No working - not even at home.  It means we will probably have to plan ahead and do some extra things the other six days, but the reward is so worth it.  If you are in, will you comment on the blog or email me?  Then I’ll plan on sending you some special encouragement each week.  Oh – and one more thing -  let’s praise the whole day long! 

For further study:

Read these Psalms to learn more about joy, who God is, and to help you get your praise on!

Psalm 65

For the director of music. A psalm of David. A song.

1 Praise awaits you, our God, in Zion;
    to you our vows will be fulfilled.
2 You who answer prayer,
    to you all people will come.
3 When we were overwhelmed by sins,
    you forgave our transgressions.
4 Blessed are those you choose
    and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with the good things of your house,
    of your holy temple.

5 You answer us with awesome and righteous deeds,
    God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
    and of the farthest seas,
6 who formed the mountains by your power,
    having armed yourself with strength,
7 who stilled the roaring of the seas,
    the roaring of their waves,
    and the turmoil of the nations.
8 The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders;
    where morning dawns, where evening fades,
    you call forth songs of joy.

9 You care for the land and water it;
    you enrich it abundantly.
The streams of God are filled with water
    to provide the people with grain,
    for so you have ordained it.
10 You drench its furrows and level its ridges;
    you soften it with showers and bless its crops.
11 You crown the year with your bounty,
    and your carts overflow with abundance.
12 The grasslands of the wilderness overflow;
    the hills are clothed with gladness.
13 The meadows are covered with flocks
    and the valleys are mantled with grain;
    they shout for joy and sing.

Psalm 126

A song of ascents.

1 When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
    we were like those who dreamed.
2 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
    our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
    “The Lord has done great things for them.”
3 The Lord has done great things for us,
    and we are filled with joy.

4 Restore our fortunes, Lord,
    like streams in the Negev.
5 Those who sow with tears
    will reap with songs of joy.
6 Those who go out weeping,
    carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
    carrying sheaves with them.