When Discouragement Gripped Me

I’ve been praying circles around a loved one for the past 26 days.  I’ve prayed my heart out for strongholds to be broken and true freedom to be found.  I’ve prayed for healing.  I’ve prayed with all the strength within me.  I’ve prayed on the floor with tears and sobs erupting from within.  I’ve prayed believing the power of Jesus will break through.

But, last night and this morning, discouragement wanted to squelch my belief.  Feelings of despair and heartache set in.  Tears started to well up in my eyes suddenly.  A migraine attacked.  All the fight within me for my loved one seemed to dissipate.  

And then in worship, my precious Savior gave me the Word I needed.  It is found in John 11 with the story of Jesus, Mary, Martha, mourning Jews, and a dead man named Lazarus.  

Jesus is deeply moved by the grief of those who loved Lazarus.  He has wept.  He has felt their pain.  It has moved Him.  And, He is using it to build their faith...  to reveal and confirm He is Messiah.  Jesus goes to the tomb and gives instruction to move the stone.  Martha says, “But Lord, he has been there for four days.  There will be an odor.”  

I picture Jesus turning to her with great compassion.  I see Him looking deeply into her eyes with incredible love and peace as He says, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” (John 11:40).

This morning in the quiet with fellow believers, I could hear the question whispering across my heart as well.  “Holly, have I not told you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”  

“But, Lord!” I cried in my mind, “What if it isn’t Your will for the stronghold to be broken?”  

“Believe, Child.  My will is for every stronghold to be broken... for all prisoners to be set free.” (Isaiah 61:1)

“But, what if my loved one doesn’t cooperate with You... or even hear You?”

“Believe, Child.  Am I not God?” (Isaiah 43:11-13; 46:8-10)

“I’m so afraid, Lord.  I’m so scared I am praying and fasting and seeking You with all my heart and it will not be done. But,honestly...  deep down... I’m terrified I will be disappointed again.”

“Believe, Child.  I have called you to fast and pray.  Be faithful with the call I have given you.  Watch.  Fast.  Pray.  Trust.  Surrender.  Believe.  And, you will see the glory of God.  Let Me be enough for you.  Let My ways be enough.  Let My plans be enough.  Wait for Me.  In the stillness hear Me.  I am God!” (Psalm 27:14, 46:10; Jeremiah 29:11; John 11:40; Ezra 8:23; Romans 15:13)

I do not know what you are praying through right now.  But, I pray with you that our amazing God encourages you today with the Word He has poured out over us with love.

~Holly

Unexpected Turns

Over the past three weeks my family has been navigating through some unexpected turns.  Every person and family faces them. When life takes these unexpected turns each of us reacts differently.  Some of us crumble under the pressure.  Others of us push through on a “survivor” type mode.  And, a few of us fall before God desperately clinging to Him to give us the strength to handle the day.

Over the past two weeks, I have done all three.  And, this morning in my quiet home, I finally paused.  Reflected.  And fell to a lump of tears on the floor.  In fact, the tears are still flowing.  But, the tears are not all from deep sorrow.  Many of them are from my deep hope.  Not all are from mourning.  Some of them are from rejoicing.  And not all of them are from being broken.  They are from God filling empty spaces within me.

We all have surprise turns in our lives.  But, as a friend reminded me this past week, those turns do not surprise God.  How are you reacting to them?  Don’t crumble and hide.  Don’t push through on autopilot void of feelings and emotion.  Cling to God.  Hold on to Him for your very breath.  And, He will meet your every need.

* * *
Father,
Thank you that nothing surprises You.  You go before me.  You hem me in.  Forgive me when I try to plow through life on my own.  When I try to help You with the circumstances of my life.  Forgive me when I crumble and try to hide from situations You have allowed.  Today, I hold on to You and breathe.  Thank you for holding me back.

* * *

My Child,
I am near.  In the quiet place...  in the silence...  in the stillness...  you will know I am near.  I hold You in my hand.  I catch every tear.  I see your sorrow...  your fears...  your hopes...  your heart.  I see every part of you and I am meeting every need you have.  I am meeting them according to all the riches I have.  

Trust Me.  For I have amazing plans for you.  And, they are for good.  You will have trouble in this world.  Amazing plans does not prevent pain, loss, and hurt in this world.  But, be encouraged because I have overcome this world.  And, the day is coming in which there will be no more pain, loss, hurt, sorrow or tears.

Be encouraged, Child.  For you are Mine.  You are My beautiful daughter whom I love.
(Psalm 46:10, James 4:8, , Psalm 56:8, Isaiah 49:16, Philippians 4:19, Jeremiah 29:11,John 16:33, Revelation 21:4)

Your Father Who Has You

Waiting for Answers

Unanswered prayers are hard.  Praying with all my strength.  Seeking.  Searching.  Waiting.  Watching.  Listening.  Believing.  Yet seeing nothing.

I feel like a child looking out the window anxiously awaiting a promised visitor to come play.  Time stands still at that window.  It seems like the promised one will never arrive.  

Do you, like me, have unanswered prayers in your life?  Mountains too big to scale.  Too high to climb.  Too wide to go around to the other side.  Too solid to dig through.   And certainly too strong to be moved.  And, like me, do you often notice that while you expectantly wait for God to scale them, move them, or dig through them, all you see is more snow falling upon them making them stand even taller and wider?

These mountains call to me to give up.  What is the use?  Why keep persevering?  Other things of life beg for my attention.  I’m distracted.  The more I pray, the bigger the mountain appears.  Why press on?  Why press in harder now?

Yet, if I shift my eyes from the mountain, to the promises of God, I view it differently.  Because of the promises of God, I can endure...  I must persevere...  I must not give up.  

We must not surrender to what our eyes see, but instead, to our Mountain Mover, Jesus.

Jeremiah 29:11-13, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord...”  (NIV).    

* * *

My Child,
When you draw near to Me, I draw near to you.  When you seek Me, I will always let you find Me.  I hear every prayer.  Every prayer of My children is in golden bowls in heaven.  And, just like Daniel, when My children pray, there is movement in the heavens.  You cannot see it with your eyes.  But, you can know it in your heart.  

I will answer every prayer.  But, sometimes you must wait.  If you will wait, you will soar, Child.  You will always soar.  For, who is like Me?  I have created all things.  I am everlasting.  I do not grow weary or tired.  My strength and power will be poured out at the perfect time.  Lift up your countenance and see I am yours  (James 4:8, Matthew 7:7-8, Revelation 5:8, Daniel 10:2-14, Isaiah 40:25-31).

Your Answerer