Messy Expectations

 Expectations.  I set them for myself.  I set them for others.  I live by them.  Without even realizing it, I have based my life around my expectations.  And I’m imprisoned by them. 

I sin because of expectations.  If I’m tired and want to relax, then I expect my three young children to behave so I can.  If I scrub my floors and wash my windows, I expect my husband to notice and sing my praises.  I expect myself to work hard and do my best and if I fail, then I assume I’m just not good enough.  I expect my hair to lye right, and if it doesn’t I get sooooo frustrated!  I expect my chiropractor to fix my aching back.  I expect my doctor to figure out what is wrong with me.   And I expect Zoe to sit still with me right now as I type even though she is only two.

Setting these expectations leads to my frustration, irritation and sin.  If things don’t go the way I want them to,  if people don’t behave the way I have envisioned, if circumstances don’t play out like I think they should, then I get angry, frustrated, and bitter.  I throw little, or sometimes big, temper tantrums in my head or in front of my family. 

And what does it profit me?  Absolutely nothing.  It robs me of peace.  It steals my joy.  It harms those I love. 

And so I today I thank God for moving me to the next phase of this journey.  I’m releasing the expectations.  I’m being freed from them by my Father.

***

Oh God thank you!  Thank you for revealing a root of my sin this early morning.  Thank you for showing me how the expectations I set knowingly and unknowingly imprison me.  How they are such a huge part of my cycle of sin.  My  brokenness.  Teach me.  Show me. I don’t know how to fix me.  I confess that I can’t fix me.  So open my eyes to what they need to see.  Thank you for the hope I feel within.  You are good, Lord!  You are so good!

***

Good morning Child.  I can’t help but smile today at your excitement at the revelation revealed to you.  Today will be a day of awareness.  I want you to be aware of every expectation you are setting for yourself and for others.  Capture each one and give it to Me.  This is the first step in making them obedient to Christ.  Listen, watch, and look and you will see all I am going to give to you today.

The Revealer of Mysteries

***

Expectations.  We all have them.  What are some of the expectations you set in your life?  Really stop and think about each expectation you set for each of these areas:

Your child(ren)

Your spouse/boyfriend (or ex-spouse)

Your parent(s)

Your boss

Your co-worker(s)

Your friend

Your child(ren)’s teacher(s) and school

Your church

Your pet

Yourself

Now really stop and think about whether or not the expectations can even be met by imperfect people living messy lives. 

Don’t get me wrong, there should be standards and responsibilities we should all meet.  But too often we also set false and unfair expectations.  And, for me, it is because I’m trying to change or manipulate a person to be who I think they should be.  And it is selfish. 

Here are just of the few “cannots” I am proclaiming today:

1.  I cannot expect my husband and kids to fill the empty place inside that only God can fill.

2.  I cannot expect my husband to read my mind and do the things I have never asked him to do.

3.  I cannot expect everyone to think like me, act like me, and be like me (and what a boring world it would be if everyone was just like me!). 

Write out some of your “cannots” and share them with God.  The rest of this week be aware of the expectations you are setting and chat with God about them.  Let Him show you what is realistic and fruitful and what is harmful and meaningless.

For further study:

How can these verses help you stop harmful expectations from consuming your mind?

2 Corinthians 10:5b, “…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Colossians 3:1b-2, “…set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”