Day 4...  July 28, 2012

The peace in me is indescribable.  I thought it would take many, many days before I could see any change.  However, I see a huge change.  Even with working a different schedule, I have been calmer.  That is unusual because when I’m not in the “norm” I usually feel out of control. 

I still have the temptations before me, but I can hear the “warning bells” going off in my head to react in a Godly way.  There are many examples with the children, but I don’t think this is about those situations.  Instead, think it is about the work God is doing in me.  I’ve asked Him for help, and He is intervening.  I’m seeking Him, and He is answering.  I’m heeding His direction, and He is blessing me and my family. 

***

Lord, I see the change in the children and me.  Our home doesn’t feel chaotic;  it feels peaceful.  I know I keep saying this each day, but I’m just so grateful.  And, I’m so amazed at how quickly You have granted it to us.  I know we still have a long journey ahead…  it has only been four days.  I know the temptations will become greater, but I just want to say thank you for these days.  Thank you for being here.  Thank you for the hope You have given to me.  Thank you for blessing me with a new experience with You.

***

My Child,

You are experiencing your faith in action.  You turned to me when you were desperate, doubtful, and discouraged.  You gave each of those to Me, and surrendered.  You hit bottom and were finally ready to give Me all of you.  You have given Me your control…  expectations…  stress…  perfection.  You have given it all to Me, and have listened to My voice.  And, now you have found rest.  The journey is still long…  I have much to teach you… I have much to show you.  Hold tight to the memory of these days.  Cling to them.  Cherish them.  Remember them.  For the memory of these days will help strengthen you in more difficult days to come.  I will not let go of you;  I will not loosen My grip.  Hold fast for the next leg of the journey, and more freedom will be given to you.

Your Faithful Father

I still remember rejoicing over the change I could see in my home and the feeling within me.  I remember the deep gratitude.  And, I wish I could say it stayed forever.  However, you will see in days to come that it didn’t.  The struggle continued on…  continues on…  and it is hard.  It is so hard, in fact, that there were a few days when I made the decision to stop sharing my journey.  I’ve humbly told God I couldn’t do it anymore…  I am too weak…  I am failing…  there is no way these words could encourage another person.  But, each time, He has sent someone to encourage me…  to share her journey with me.  And, I’m realizing that our “messes” and our “stuff” are different, but what is common is that we all have them.  And, often, we each think we are the only one who is a “mess”…  who has “stuff.” 

So, wherever you are right now, I want to encourage you to press on.  Celebrate the good moments.  Thank God for them.  Praise Him for them, and continue pressing on.  When you fall (and you will), share it with God.  He already knows.  Avoiding the fall, talking around the fall, and/or ignoring the fall will not bring healing.  It will only bring more brokenness. 

I have no idea who is reading these posts.  But, today, I pray for each of you.  I pray you will love God more.  I pray He will lift your countenance…  your heart…  your soul.  As I pray, I wonder if you know Jesus.  Do you?  Do you know the Jesus of the Bible (not just what you have heard about Him, but who He says He is)?  I think everyone who is reading this will know of Him, but do you know Him?  If you aren’t sure…  or if you have questions, will you call me at 812-858-5000 or email me at hgillespie@fccn.org, so we can simply chat for a few minutes?

Regardless of who you are and where you are on your journey, God loves you…  He adores you, and He longs to have more and more of you.    

For further study:

Read John 14:6. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

What does Jesus say about himself? (Note: He doesn’t say He is one of several…  or one of many.  He says he is “the” meaning only.)

Read Hebrews 10:22-25 and 36.  …let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Think about your own personal journey.  What truths do you learn from these verses?  What is your hope?  What does God want us to do?  Why do we persevere?